Day 31 - The toughest of all.

Today is day 31 out of 45. Sorry, that's including the non wheeling days. A really tough day again. It started off looking okay.

I check the weather every day and see what's going to come. When I checked the weather and in the morning, it said that there wouldn't be any rain until about 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I knew that I had about 45 km, at least, to do and was in the frame of mind that I would try and get that done if I could, before 2 o'clock, which would be pushing it a bit, but I was quite adamant that I was going to give it my best shot. When when we loaded up the car, it was already raining! So the weather was slightly wrong. I did manage to do about 12 km and then the rain started to come down, and it came down really hard and very fast. I was on a road at that point, which I couldn't get off and so it just got wet!

Eventually I could pull oven and put on my poncho, and it stopped! It actually looked a bit brighter, so I carried on. I had done a little while and then I reached a epic hill. I had no idea how long is going to go on for. I had in my mind It was just going to be a short one, because quite a lot of the ones that have done recently have been very steep, but quite short, so I started going up the hill and it was one of the steepest ones that I've done so far. Not just steep, but the cambers were unbelievable, really, really severe. Almost tipping, the chair over and the minute I started going up the hill, the rain started and it wasn't just a small amount of rain, this was basically what they call a deluge. It came down so fast and so quick and there was so much of it. I was soaked within minutes, if not seconds. But the problem was that this was a really busy road, so there was nowhere for me to go.

You can't just stop on a road like that because it's too busy. It would just cause a problem and the car would likely be hit and so would I, so I had no choice but to carry on. Normally in rain, I would not attempt a hill of any kind. Certainly not one like that.

It's incredibly dangerous, because your hands slip really badly and if you make one false move, 1 slip in the wrong direction, then you would just end up rolling backwards and had no control of the chair, which would obviously be very dangerous on a hill that's steep. So it gives you an idea of what kind of speeds I can get up to on a hill like that, I'd probably be going from zero to at least about 25 miles an hour within seconds on a steep hill like that. Especially with going backwards and my body weight going against gravity, it would make it just really, really treacherous.

So I had no choice but to keep going, I have no idea how I got to the top of that hill, it was about probably about 10 km long, and I'd say was probably about a 12%, 13% hill. But what made it difficult was the the camber and the the length of it, so it went on with a varying degree of difficulty. Basically getting worse and worse and worse. And the road surface was also terrible. There was potholes everywhere, which filled up with water so I couldn't tell how deep they were and I couldn't see them coming either because the rain was so severe that I couldn't see in front of me. I couldn't see where the white line was. I couldn't see where anything was, which again was really dangerous, especially when you've got lorries and cars trying to pass you around you on the outside. I couldn't look back to see where the car was, and it found out later that the car but was having trouble seeing me as well.

There's nothing they could do either. I couldn't stop. There was nowhere safe to pull me over, so I just literally had to keep going and I had to use my wheels to push because the pushrims were just too slippy. The wheels were slipping, my arms were slipping, everything was slipping.

So I carried on and gave it every inch of energy that I had. But I think I was more distracted by how dangerous it was, and how scary it was. So I terrified. I kept going until I got to the top of the hill and then I saw a layby. I've never been so glad to see one before.

By that point, there wasn't anything on me that was dripping wet. Everything was literally just wringing wet, every single item of clothing. I had puddle in my bag, and puddles in my shoes... you get the idea! It was absolutely horrendous, and I was freezing cold again. I literally have no idea how I got up that hill.

I felt bad for Sharon and Pam in the car behind me, they wanted to do anything they could to try and keep me safe and they couldn't do anything. Other than keep following me diligently, which is what they did, and then when I stopped, they made the decision to call it a day. Basically, they knew that the other side of that hill was going to be a downhill, which was going to also be quite severe and there's been no way at all that I could hold myself on a hill like that in rain like that, even if the rain stopped, the ground was just so wet, and i had no breaks.

The road was like a waterfall coming down the road towards me. My chair was actually parting the water. It was that deep. It was very confusing ilwhen you're in that sort of a frame of mind. My sensible side disappeared, and the fighting side came on when you're fighting against all of that. And then you see this waterfall coming towards you, it can be quite daunting and quite scary.

So yeah, that wasn't fun! So I sat in the layby for a minute. Pam came out with a towel to put round me and an umbrella. While they sorted out the car so I could get in the car safely. When you have a wheelchair you can't just jump in the car. Unfortunately, it takes a minute to sort everything out.

After a while, I managed to get in the car. We got everything sorted and got back to the accommodation. Saving me quite a long time to sort my stuff out because everything was drenched my chair, everything. Also, we've got a club to go to this evening, so I need things dry as quickly as possible. Which isn't easy when you've got one heated tower rail to dry things on. Fortunately, we're in the same place as last night. So a lot of my stuff was already here, which that was a relief.

When we got in the hotel, I watched the videos back, Sharon had already told me in the car that she was in tears because she felt so helpless and saw what I was going through. She said that that Pam was was about the same, and she was quite choked up which you can hear in the video. I hate the fact that they had to go through that. Not the best day. I certainly didn't do what I wanted to do. I managed to do about 26 km or just under, so 25.67km I think, so basically 26km. This means that I'm going to have to do an extra 20 km on one of my non wheeling days, which is going to likely be Saturday.

We are going to Gloucester Rugby club and possibly Bristol, as well buti am still waiting to hear on that one. I dont get told anything. Even if i ask. Some things I have said to keep from me, like if anything at home happens which id have no control over. Things which could influence or change the outcome of the wvent. Some people in the support crew on route have taken this a bit roo literally, and now if i ask any questions, i get told in not so many words, to get back in my box and do what im doing and basically i cant ask questions. Not very pleasant to be honest, when there are a few things i need to know. Fortunatelythe support crew at home are on hand to help and answer things I need to know. There are a few problems with getting things sorted on route.

We are hopefully going to Bath rugby club on Saturday morning. So the plan is to go into Bath and then come back the accommodation, get changed and then I will make up what the distance that I've lost today. I've already already got a tiny bit to make up from last week, where everything went a bit askew, so a little bit to make up to put me back on track! Not really what I wanted before we are going into the last 2 weeks. I actually can't believe that we're on the last 2 weeks, or will be. It's quite amazing. This week has been horrendous.

To put it mildly weather wise, it's been wonderful, having Sharon here. I wish I could ask her to stay for a bit longer. She's it's just lovely. She's so chilled out and really like cheery and happy and it's just lovely. Not that the others diddnt do a great job, because they did. All the drivers have been amazing, and kind, and positive. Which is what I really need when I'm trying to do an event like this. Sometimes positivity is not very high on the agenda! I know its tough being away from home for such a long time, which is why we offered to swap permanent team members out, and solve problems the whole way, but all the solutions were rebuffed. But we are all adults, and the team at home have done all they can do. Its up to adults to make their own decisions. But not entirely good for me when I become the sounding block for frustration and negativity! I should be able to say when I'm tired, not to be told in a very dismissive tone 'yer, Lexi, we all are!'. But there we go. Inside scoop! And this isnt what I believed support was about, but I have had great support when im actually wheeling, as long as I don't ask questions, which is really appreciated.

All in all, im feeling relatively okay. My lower back today was really, really painful, just at the start and i ended up putting a local anaesthetic plaster on it, which helped quite a bit, until obviously, it got wet and then it doesn't really help any more. But I was kind of thinking of other things then the fact that I was in pain there! I was in pain everywhere by that point. My body is pretty exhausted now. Its done a lot of kilometres every day this week and the rain has just been an absolute nightmare. It's rained every day.

I'm just so hoping that next week is better because this is absolutely ridiculous. We've been lucky so far, but I'd rather have had rain early on, a few bits, than have it all at once all week in 1 week. Who knows when it's going to stop? The thing is, if it carries on the way that it is, that's put in the events length in jeopardy, I want to finish on time and make sure that I get the record and if it carries on like it is, that's a risk to whether that's going to happen and I don't want to have done all of this and let everyone down, and not get that record! I'm so furious at Guinness, of the fact that nobody's ever done this before, nobody's ever got a record of doing this. And yet, they still give me a time to beat, and I find that absolutely ridiculous. Especially when I know that they didn't with other people. Men, basically who have got records for the first time, so I think they're the system is lacking somewhat, but just another venture on the path to equality!

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